We apologized for staring and asked him why everyone was dressed up.
“It’s a Wedding”
“On a Sunday night?”
“Yea. I know. It’s cheaper this way. Plus, I get to take the day off tomorrow”
This sparked a conversation with our new Canadian friend, John, who was the best man at his brother’s wedding.
John found out we were from the US and was excited to question us (Rule #88: You are from out of town, ALWAYS). He had spent time in Philadelphia and made an instant connection with Tom. We chatted about a how much we loved Canada, and in about 5 minutes John offered us a beer. John’s wife joined our conversation and suggested that he slow down on the beers because he would be driving home later. Just as John brushed her off, the even staff emerged to warn us that beverages could only be enjoyed indoors.
John, riding his high from a few beers and a successful best man’s speech (and not wanting to waste the beers that he just handed over), invited us inside to finish our drinks and meet the family.
Rule #9: Whatever it takes to get in, get in.
We were introduced to the bride, who could understandably care less about our presence. The groom was stoked to meet us (he was a little drunk), but he’d watched an EPL soccer game in Philadelphia one time, and that was enough to bond with us instantly. We even met Grandma, who’s only words to us were, “Welcome to Canada!”
Rule #73: Keep interactions with the parents of the Bride and Groom at a minimum
Things were going well, we were under dressed, but I could tell that we actually added a much needed spark to this wedding reception. When we arrived, there was a mellow tone hanging over the gathering. No one was on the dance floor, about half the guests had departed, and everyone else was sitting around the circular tables yawning. The mood was so subdued that I could feel almost every set of eyes on us as we walked through the door.
Rule #60: Smile! You’re having the time of your life
To make the most of this wedding crashing opportunity, we decided to hit the empty dance floor and hold nothing back. John’s wife spotted us quickly and decided to mix it up out there with us. We were having fun, spinning and twirling John’s wife all over the floor.
Rule #95: Try not to show off on the dance floor. This means you Jeremy.
After a few minutes people popped out of their chairs and the dance floor started to fill up. I couldn’t help to feel that we were responsible for the uptick in energy (Rule #8: Be the life of the party), and I felt invincible at the moment. Riding this high, I started to dance with a girl in a blue dress. I was goofing around, doing the sprinkler, spinning, and dipping my new dance partner. However, my surging confidence retreated abruptly when I felt the many sets of eyes on me again. What was drawing so much attention?
My dance partner looked younger than me for sure, but I figured she was about 20.
“Wait a second, how old are you?” I asked.
“16” she replied. Invincibility turned to embarrassment.
Hero to goat in 5 minutes flat. Rule #21: Definitely make sure she’s 18
If that wasn’t enough, I had also just unknowingly added insult to injury. I walked over to join Tom talking to our friend John in conversation.
“Wow, I can’t believe that she is 16.” I declared.
“Yea I know, she’s my daughter.” Replied John.
The Dagger.
Talk about crash and burn. In the following few minutes, relatives were coming up to me looking to meet “The guy who tried to pick-up Alexis”. This really took the wind out of my sails, but Tom was riding high, unable to stop laughing.
Rule #107: Know when to abandon ship if it ain’t floating
10 awkward minutes later, we were able to finish our beverages and sneak out the front door without much of a problem. Thank God we were in Canada and not in the US. The Canadians were too nice to throw us out of a wedding that we weren’t invited to. Even after (mistakenly) dancing with the underage daughter of the best man.
I couldn’t help but picture us being thrown out by our belts like Owen Wilson in Wedding Crashers,especially if the same events had occurred in America. This time, I’m extra thankful that these Canadians fit the the overly nice, non-confrontational Canadian stereotype.
Rule #80: Stop. Look. Listen. At Weddings. In Life
